I need peace. My definition of peace =
- non stop music playing, good music btw, those that are meaningful to me, means something to me, those that I can sing along to, those that i bop my head to, (need to create a super huge playlist for this)
- + No disturbance (good music is NOT disturbance in case you're wondering, it's goooood)
- + being sane
- + not stressed up by o's (a bit of stress motivates, a whole lot breeds inertia and the last thing i need is losing my momentum, if i have one to begin with)
- + guilty conscience not acting up
- + maintaining diplomatic relations (read: good terms) with my
circlemany-shapes of friends, everyone single one of you, you, you, and even Nica where you're in Aussieland and I don't even remember the last time we talked ): - + while juggling with school work/revision/self-study/and more revision
- + quality sleep
- + the great escape from reality
- + love
- + my motivation & momentum to be on and green, not off and red.
- + NOT getting frustrated over subjects that I am weak in, mainly physics/ss/Lit/Chi (omg results on WED!!!)
- + Never to feel hungry ever again and i will only eat selectively (i.e. frog leg porridge haha)
& currently, I am not in peace because
- Listening to The All-American Rejects - Damn Girl now, favourite track from the new record and it reminds me of unhappy stuffs but i couldn't bear to change song
- I'm going crazyyyyyyyyyy
- Guilty conscience acting up because it's been an unproductive day (the only highlight was JONAS!!)
- My motivation and momentum is off and red
- No love no love
- Deprived of sleep
- I feel paranoid/stresssed up/insecure/confused/terrible/horrible/vegetable?
- I can never escape from o's, and i can never escape from reality
- I AM NOT STUDYING.
I want to know, am I putting unnecessarily stress on myself? I think the answer is yes. Because if I don't think about scoring that 10 points, i don't do it at all. I'm all talk and no action. It's just in my head. All the talk going in my head. No action. Thinking so much doesn't help me to get my 10 points. I NEED TO DO IT. I MUST DO IT.
My policy of isolation failed. Epic fail. Isolating myself doesn't help me to do my work. So what good does it do to isolate myself?!
Fail to plan, and plan to fail. But what if you planned and there were external factors that led you not to go according to plan?!?!?!?!?!?! Aren't you planning to fail that way too!??!??????
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I badly want to go Bangkok.
I want to score 10 points. THE OTHER THINGS CAN WAIT!!!
GO ME!!!!!!!!!!
